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News Room: ENQUIRER: You can overcome sabotaging yourself

By: Toni Schklar

As 2013 comes to a close and we look ahead to the New Year, it is a good time to take a look at ourselves and determine what we might change to better navigate each day and improve our overall wellbeing. Not a New Year’s Resolution necessarily – just wiser choices.

Personal barriers to success
According to Craig Harper, PhD, we all have “explanations, rationalizations, justifications” that “allegedly” prevent us from achieving our goals: creating our best life, body, career, business, relationship, or health. Examples include:

  • Lack of time
  • Bad luck, destiny, fate
  • The government
  • Lack of ability
  • Genetics
  • Ignorance
  • Lack of opportunity
  • Fast food companies
  • Lack of motivation
  • Other people

Harper, an author and motivational speaker, uses this list of what really stands between us and our goals:

  • Poor attitude: Attitude is the biggest determinant of the kind of result we produce in our world. Our attitude determines what we do, which determines what we create. Many people sabotage their ability with their poor attitudes.
  • Apathy: Some people just don’t want to do what it takes. Sadly, we are the short-cut society and the quick-fix generation. Unrealistically, results without effort are what many of us want.
  • Fear: A certain level of fear is normal and healthy. Being controlled by fear is not truly living.
  • Procrastination: For too many of us it’s always soon, never now. Our life is not a dress rehearsal for the real thing.
  • Poor planning: All the discipline, self-control and motivation won’t produce optimal results unless they’re attached to a practical plan.
  • Over-thinking: “analysis paralysis.”
  • Lack of discipline and self-control.
  • We don’t finish what we start.
  • We invest our emotional energy in the wrong place: jealousy, resentment, anger, greed, bitterness. We hold on to feelings that make us not like ourselves and are unproductive.
  • Poor communication: This is one of life’s most important skills. We have to create connection, rapport and mutual understanding with others to elicit support for our goal.
  • Lack of clarity: We know we want success, we just don’t know what this is. If you can’t define it, you can’t have it. When we get clarity, we create excitement and momentum and we start to produce results.
  • Self-doubt: If there’s a way to shoot ourselves in the foot with a really big self-doubt gun, we’ll find it.

Many of us avoid success by just stopping when things get too hard. We get paralyzed when we start to leave our comfort zone. Lack of self-confidence and comparing ourselves to others is an excuse and makes us our own biggest rival for success.

Change comes with awareness followed by a plan, followed by corrective action. Don’t self-chastise. As Nike says: Just do it!

Worry Table
Attributed to a military chaplain, this is what most people worry about:

  • Things that never happen 40 percent
  • Things that can’t be changed 35 percent
  • Things that turn out better than expected 15 percent
  • Petty, useless worries 8 percent
  • Legitimate worries 2 percent

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